office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
