I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
