he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
