When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
