so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
