Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize