I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
