You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
