pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We smell like vodka and hangover
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