I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
