i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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