Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
