i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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