Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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