I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
