Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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