Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
