My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
