I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
