Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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