she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
