I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
