ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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