That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i think i just lost a toe
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
