Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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