Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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