one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
