I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
