I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
