it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
