A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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