He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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