I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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