Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
