Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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