Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
