He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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