I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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