We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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