2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize