That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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