look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
