I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
