yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Blood and glitter go together right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
