highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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