Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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