I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize