Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
