You're completely useless in the revolution.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
