You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
