I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She bit a glass in half.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize