shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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