their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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