remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do vagina's smell?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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