For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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