also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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