I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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