Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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