it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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