How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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