the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
