I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
barbara walters just said penis...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
