think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
