its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
