she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want nice things and good sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
