Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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